I didn't update my blog for some time. Partly because I'm quite lazy to update but main reason is I don't really want to remember what was happened this few weeks. Besides, life at Kampar was boring until nothing to write about.
I went back penang for a couple of week. Sometime I feel that I'm so emotional. I don't really know what do I want too... I love him yet I keep wanna give up, and some time I might be wondering is it loving him is just a habit? Want to see him once I get back to Penang is another one? I did many first time(s) after I get to know him. He changed me a lot though...
People quote that "Curious could kill a cat", but I think mine shall be "love can change rational individuals become a "full-jealousy" individuals". Or rather, "Jealousy could kill minds". I just can't help myself when I saw somethings that I wasn't hoping to see. I'm kind of sensitive person and I might be petty too. I hate being ignore and being alone. But it's nothing compare to see you being so kind to another girl. Of cause, I got no authority to criticize about it since I'm not your girl friend. I'm just a normal friend to you. I don't really mind that whether who am I to you too.
Since the day I know his daily life was so busy. I started to worry. I really worry that is he safe every time he drive? and he work until so late every night. Did he able to get enough rest? How did he study and do revision since he can be so tired until fall asleep at lecture class. Worst thing is when the lecturer called his name, he didn't noticed it and continue sleeping. How could he manage to take care his career + his studies + his club activities in the same time? I wrote here is because I can't tell him in real life because the same reason. No authority, and even I tell him about this, nothing change too since I understand he can't abandon anyone of them. What I can do is just keep praying for him...
1 more week to final exam. I haven't fully prepare yet>.<'' I hate exam ='(
8:53 PM |
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