Been a while for me to update this blog, I was wanted to write but I thought that wasn't the right time for me to do it. Many things happened in this few weeks. Happy or sad or angry or disappointment, every single elements of feeling is there..
I know I'd been keep quiet and tolerance for a long time. I don't voice out my piece of anger doesn't mean I don't know how to angry. I know my existence is somethings beneficial to you all, even though the word "friend" mention by you all was like the honey dropping into the sea. I know my own weakness, that's I'll treat every single friend equal, unless they really care for me. I thought 3 of you were, but it was disappointing me... Yet I m still so stupid to follow and obey every single "order" you all requested. I know I've been too soft-hearted, which I don't really sure I can change it. I always mentioned that I'm half blind when I don't wear specs, but it doesn't mean that you all thought I'm an idiot who don't know everything. I don't mention doesn't mean that I don't know. I'm happy that my brain still work well. I still able to read yours eye... I know every single crap you all saying about me. I don't want to tear off your face, but I just wanna ask, I already fulfill things you ask me to do without any complaints. Just why 3 of you still couldn't satisfied with it and still have to shoot me at behind???
I see everything clearly even though my eye sight was bad. But don't look down on my estimation, prediction and my brain!
I truly wanna apologize to someone. Sorry!!! I know I'm the one who always hurt you, but you are always there to protect me and make sure I'm in the right track. When you're around I feel safe, still you're no longer there for me. Be sure you happy with her oh. I'll become such soft-hearted partly because of you are over protected me until I forget the dark side of human... But don't worry, I woke up after 1 year of pampering... ha-ha... I wanted to hold you and don't want to let the feeling gone, but too bad I gave up already. I wanted to have the feeling for loving you back, but it just impossible.
I'm afraid I will fall back the same darkness again. I don't want to move forward anymore, I scared of the hurt again. If the one there is truly liking me or whatsoever, walk to me and show me your sincerity. I'm too tired for guessing and forecasting.
1:55 PM |
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