I am fear and nervous. It was my fault for being trusted people so easily, it was my fault for me to fall in love to someone so easily too. But it can't help...
What i am scared the most is LONELINESS. I hate the word lonely too, because that is my main weakness. I hate it because i am scared i will have it. However, it seem like i am always the lonely one. Not to say that i have no friends, but for those who really understand me and willing listen to my problems that i am suffering is non at all.
The more i growing up, the more loneliness i feel and taste. I did believed that I can get at least a good friend that really kind to me, take care of me and care about me previously. Yet what i believed was just a dream.
Everyday, I am so stress and tired, as I am wearing a "mask" everyday. Not a facial mask or ultimate power mask but a mask that I could cover my real feeling and emotions. I am trying my best to cover my true identity. It is not a Superhuman-being identity, but it is my weaknesses and fragile. All knows the smiling on my face but no one knows the pain in my heart. My heart is crying, but no one hear it. It's hurt and suffering.....
To whom i shall take off the mask and show him or her my real face? Who will lend me shoulder when i feel like crying? Who will try to understand and comfort me? Get a true friend is even harder than strike lottery. True friends are like diamond, where all people around me can get but i can't.
Bearing and get myself used to be lonely, are the lessons i have to learn perhap? But it is too tough for me... Until it may cost my whole life to learn it? I doubted... Good luck for me, myself...
What i am scared the most is LONELINESS. I hate the word lonely too, because that is my main weakness. I hate it because i am scared i will have it. However, it seem like i am always the lonely one. Not to say that i have no friends, but for those who really understand me and willing listen to my problems that i am suffering is non at all.
The more i growing up, the more loneliness i feel and taste. I did believed that I can get at least a good friend that really kind to me, take care of me and care about me previously. Yet what i believed was just a dream.
Everyday, I am so stress and tired, as I am wearing a "mask" everyday. Not a facial mask or ultimate power mask but a mask that I could cover my real feeling and emotions. I am trying my best to cover my true identity. It is not a Superhuman-being identity, but it is my weaknesses and fragile. All knows the smiling on my face but no one knows the pain in my heart. My heart is crying, but no one hear it. It's hurt and suffering.....
To whom i shall take off the mask and show him or her my real face? Who will lend me shoulder when i feel like crying? Who will try to understand and comfort me? Get a true friend is even harder than strike lottery. True friends are like diamond, where all people around me can get but i can't.
Bearing and get myself used to be lonely, are the lessons i have to learn perhap? But it is too tough for me... Until it may cost my whole life to learn it? I doubted... Good luck for me, myself...
12:03 AM |
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